She was wild and beautiful and sad and always testing and training my brother and I.
“How many people love you, joseph?”
“i dunno... lots?” i would answer, smiling curiously.
“Lets count them!” she’d suggest. As if nothing would ever match this moment in sheer precedence.
“Ok...” i would then whisper, touching my hands together in a silent clap.
“OK!!!” she would laugh, “Well I know that me and your big brotha are big fans of yours...” And she’d pry open two of my fingers, squeezing the tip of each, for my brother and herself. “How many is that?”
“Two, mommy.” I would say.
“And what about Molly?” Molly was our cat.
“Three.”
And i’d be pleased with myself.
“Good boy.”
This is how i learned to count.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
How to Quit Smoking for GOOD: the Quick and Easy Way
When attempting to quit smoking cigarettes it is important to keep in mind why one is driven to smoke cigarettes in the first place. The stressors of everyday life are the cause of most people’s nicotine addiction. And in this world of environmental crisis, nuclear armament, economic recession, and global overpopulation, who can blame you for lighting up?
But worry not, for ours is the most effective detoxification regiment for this new more realistic world. Use our simple principles of preparation, relaxation, and self-application to finally give you control over the course of your life. By eliminating the stress in your life that makes you want to smoke in the first place, I can guarantee that THIS last cigarette will be your last. All you have to do is follow these three EASY steps.
Step One: Preparation.
Like any journey, yours requires some preparation before departure. The first thing you will need is a box of nicotine patches. Get used to the idea of the patch. The patch is your friend. It loves you. You will also need to buy your last pack of cigarettes and if money is not a consideration you may also want to buy some other item that you enjoy to help relax.
Step two: Relaxation.
When you arrive home, take a deep breath of fresh air, knowing that your life as a smoker is nearing its end. You may want some music, a hot drink, or some sweets to help you settle in. But what’s most important is that you feel as comfortable as possible.
Step three: Self-Application
At this point, you’ll need to open your boxes of medicine. Now the fun part! Light up a cigarette and enjoy it, for it will truly be your final smoke. Now that you’re relaxed, smoking your final cigarette, start applying patches to yourself.
The method is the most effective when patches are applied to the vital areas [such as the chest, armpits, groin and face), but the rule of thumb really, is the more the better. If you finish your cigarette before finishing self application, feel free to light up another. The treatment will only become more effective.
Once you’ve used all your patches, you should feel satisfied, knowing that your life as a smoker is finally over.
Visualize the things in your life that make you need this addiction fading away. None of your problems will ever matter again, because you have eliminated stress and nicotine from your life for good. Your debt is gone, you never have to show up to your job again, and you’ll never again hear from your jilted Ex’s. Because you will be dead.
Congratulations, you have quit smoking.
But worry not, for ours is the most effective detoxification regiment for this new more realistic world. Use our simple principles of preparation, relaxation, and self-application to finally give you control over the course of your life. By eliminating the stress in your life that makes you want to smoke in the first place, I can guarantee that THIS last cigarette will be your last. All you have to do is follow these three EASY steps.
Step One: Preparation.
Like any journey, yours requires some preparation before departure. The first thing you will need is a box of nicotine patches. Get used to the idea of the patch. The patch is your friend. It loves you. You will also need to buy your last pack of cigarettes and if money is not a consideration you may also want to buy some other item that you enjoy to help relax.
Step two: Relaxation.
When you arrive home, take a deep breath of fresh air, knowing that your life as a smoker is nearing its end. You may want some music, a hot drink, or some sweets to help you settle in. But what’s most important is that you feel as comfortable as possible.
Step three: Self-Application
At this point, you’ll need to open your boxes of medicine. Now the fun part! Light up a cigarette and enjoy it, for it will truly be your final smoke. Now that you’re relaxed, smoking your final cigarette, start applying patches to yourself.
The method is the most effective when patches are applied to the vital areas [such as the chest, armpits, groin and face), but the rule of thumb really, is the more the better. If you finish your cigarette before finishing self application, feel free to light up another. The treatment will only become more effective.
Once you’ve used all your patches, you should feel satisfied, knowing that your life as a smoker is finally over.
Visualize the things in your life that make you need this addiction fading away. None of your problems will ever matter again, because you have eliminated stress and nicotine from your life for good. Your debt is gone, you never have to show up to your job again, and you’ll never again hear from your jilted Ex’s. Because you will be dead.
Congratulations, you have quit smoking.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
my shadow next to yours, lit by streetlight onto pavement.
he squeezes her hips
and she squeals but doesnt run
in a white room
on a white bed
her black skirt is easily undone
his hands which feel unreal,
very much exist as he undresses her
on white sheets
with white teeth
her painted black nails grip white silk
as he possesses her
and she squeals but doesnt run
in a white room
on a white bed
her black skirt is easily undone
his hands which feel unreal,
very much exist as he undresses her
on white sheets
with white teeth
her painted black nails grip white silk
as he possesses her
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